December 2011 New video Tim at Papatoetoe North School and Jared's Challenge
Jared's Challenge!
Season’s greetings,
In this month's journal there are 3 videos of my visit to Papatoetoe North School.
Also, Tracey writes of her son Jared's Warrior Kids' challenge.
Often in Warrior Kids students are given individual challenges that they must complete in order to pass their next Belt grade. The challenges vary from to student to student depending on what would best serve or widen a student's confidence and ability.
Jared's Challenge
Jared's a weekly regular at WK for a few years now. It's seen him grow from a socially awkward, and often disruptive kid, to one who leads others and has a strong sense of social justice.
His challenge came from a passing comment to Papa Tim about how the men in my house can't cook anything more than beans on toast. Papa Tim created a huge challenge for Jared's purple belt: to cook a three course meal for the family.
Quite a step up from a tin of beans!
Jared wanted to do something that everyone liked; he picked fruit kebabs for a starter, prawns and rice with lemon butter sauce (my favourite food) for a main, and apple crumble for dessert - the most important dish as both guys love the sweet stuff.
With a bit of guidance and help with reading the recipes, Jared undertook the challenge with determination. The photos show how he enjoyed doing it all.
We were really proud of him and the meal was delicious. I think he was the most surprised of all of us at how great it all tasted!
He now makes apple crumble regularly and has even expanded to making rocky road and other desserts.
Thanks Tim for broadening his mind, and who knows, maybe a future career beckons. I know I'll enjoy that!
Cheers
Tracey
Enjoy, and have a safe and happy holiday.
Regards
Tim
October/November 2011 The book Warrior Kids: Warrior Training for Children is here
Greetings
In 2001 I wrote a manual for Warrior Kids. It was the result of organisations wanting to licence Warrior Kids from me. Time was limited so the first manual was a rushed job and after running Warrior Kids by myself for seven years I had little idea of how to pass the information on. Only a select few ever got a copy of the 2001 manual.
For the last few years I have been working on Warrior Kids Warrior Training for Children, the official manual for the 10 week in-school programme. Schools and organisations over that time have been asking for a manual and I repeatedly told them that it was on its way. And now here it is, printed and ready to go.
Warrior Kids Warrior Training for Children is published by Libro International and is available to all.
To find out more check out the video above or get your own copy of the manual from Libro International's book distributor Publishers Distribution Limited or on-line from Fishpond.
It was exciting to see Warrior Kids feature in the October edition of the North and South magazine. There should be some more publicity over the next couple of months.
Another Warrior Kids Poster features this month with one of the earlier Warrior Kids messages. The poster can be downloaded, enlarged and printed off.
Enjoy the video and have an excellent month.
Regards
Tim Tipene
Founder of Warrior Kids
September 2011 The Warrior Kids Run & Yell Challenge
Greetings
Over the last few weeks I have enjoyed speaking at three schools. First of all I spoke to the year 9, 10 & 11 boys at Massey High School about my life and the work involved with breaking the cycle of my abusive childhood.
Then through the New Zealand Book Council I spoke at Botany Downs School and lastly travelled down to Coromandel Area School to speak to the students there. I had a great time all round.
My journal this month is a video presenting the Warrior Kids Run & Yell Challenge.
There is also the Warrior Kids Poster for 2011 featuring the Be Brave, Be Safe message that has been explored in the classes this year. The poster can be enlarged and printed off.
Also, here are some photos of Feng Qin from Beijing who has been teaching Tai Chi classes at the Warrior Kids Centre. Thank you Feng Qin, I have really enjoyed the classes.
Enjoy the video and have an excellent month.
Regards
Tim Tipene
Founder of Warrior Kids
August 2011 The Warrior Kids Deflector Shield
Greetings
This month I am looking forward to speaking to the boys of Massey High School about ‘Getting along peacefully’ (the promotion of Manaakitanga and Whakawhanaungatanga).
Later in August I will be visiting and speaking to the students of Botany Downs School through the New Zealand Book Council. I had a great time at Orakei Primary School and Remuera Primary School last month and another school visit is being planned for September.
This month also has me kicking off new writing projects. And I have to keep up my duties as a single parent. Busy as always. Just have to make sure I get plenty of down time.
My journal this time is largely a video journal presenting the Warrior Kids Deflector Shield. The Warrior Kids Deflector Shield is a psychological force field generated from the constructive and positive aspects of a one’s life.
The shield is used to deflect negative, unconstructive remarks and gestures and to prevent such messages from getting in. I developed the Warrior Kids Deflector Shield as a means to increase fortitude and resilience in the face of adversity. It is also useful for strengthening focus and is great to practise with the eyes closed.
I encourage Warrior Kids to imagine that their Deflector Shield is on all the time, a bubble of protection, shielding them from verbal and other forms of non-contact bullying. The more they know it’s there the more confident they will feel.
Teachers and anyone involved with children may find the activation of the Warrior Kids Deflector Shield a useful exercise for the class room; especially for developing greater fortitude and resilience in students.
I have also included a handout below on the Warrior Kids Deflector Shield that can be clicked to enlarge, printed off and used.
Regards
Tim Tipene
Founder of Warrior Kids
July 2011 Addressing bullying with ten years of Taming the Taniwha
Greetings,
I am looking forward to visiting Orakei Primary School and Remuera Primary School this month and speaking to the students. As well as using this site, these schools will also be able to access the new author website www.timtipene.com where they will find additional information.
Taming the Taniwha was published by Huia Publishers in both English and Maori in 2001, and is a fun book about a difficult problem. Tama is being bullied by a nasty taniwha who inhabits his classroom. At a loss for a solution, he goes to this family for ideas. The story follows Tama as he tries out the suggestions and faces the taniwha.
Taming the Taniwha has been described as a great way for kids to explore different methods of dealing with bullies and an effective tool to generate discussion, and has been used in schools and community programmes.
Taming the Taniwha was selected for the White Ravens International Youth Library Catalogue as one of the world's top 250 children's books for 2002.
My 2003 Warrior Kids activity book featured the Taming Taniwha Game which was based on the book. This game requires a dice and counters to play and involves the players having to break free from the anger cycle in order to tame their Taniwha, and then race to the finish. Along the way, players are given the opportunity to share experiences where they felt certain emotions. This game is great for exploring the cycle of anger and for communication. It will prove beneficial to anyone working on an emotional and behavioural level with small groups of children.
Click to enlarge to A3, print off and start playing.
The Taming Taniwha Game follows my belief that we all have a Taniwha, a monster of sadness, fear and anger, inside of us. And that it is our task to tame our Taniwha. Taniwha often emerge in bullying behaviour and all children experience bullying, not only as victims but also as bullies.
When discussing this with children, I personalise it for them by saying that perhaps there is someone in their class who they ignore or who they do not allow to play with them. Perhaps they have said something nasty to someone before, or given someone a nasty look. Maybe they have teased someone, called them names. Maybe they have laughed at someone. Perhaps they took something that belonged to someone else, or broke someone’s things. Maybe they have pushed someone, or even hit them. If they haven’t done these behaviours at school then maybe they’ve done them at home to a brother or sister. These are all examples of bullying behaviour and all children should be charged with the task of taming their Taniwha.
‘Taming Taniwha’, a resource book to accompany Taming the Taniwha by myself and Catherine Hannken was published in 2001. Over time its exercises and activities will feature here on the Warrior Kids site. The following is a Taming Taniwha exercise I developed and used with students when visiting schools.
Part 1
After reading Taming the Taniwha aloud I ask the students if they have any Taniwha/bullies in their school. Having visited numerous schools from one end of New Zealand to the other, the students have all answered ‘yes’ to this question. I then share my belief that we’re all bullies and that we must tame our Taniwha, so that we attract positive outcomes.
I ask the students, ‘Are you ready to tame your Taniwha?’
When I get a ‘YES’, I have the students stand.
Part 2
Once everyone is standing, I tell the students that I need them to show me the up-most self control, as we’re going to bring our Taniwha out into the room. The exercise is only going to work if I have the student’s full compliance. If the students are unsettled, I point out that maybe we’re not able to do the exercise, that maybe everyone needs to sit back down. This brings the students into line.
Throughout the exercise I openly acknowledge the students who demonstrate great self control. This encourages the other students to do the same.
Part 3
When the students are focussed I say, ‘I bet that there has been a time when there was something that you really wanted to do or something that you really wanted, and you went up to your mum or your dad and asked them, and they turned around to you and said no. And I bet that when you have heard a no, at some point you have stomped. Maybe you stomped through the house into your bedroom and slammed the door. So stomp Taniwha, stomp those feet.’
Taniwha stomping is great on a wooden floor. After stomping for around 20 seconds we stop.
Part 4
I then go on to say, ‘Put up your hand if you have a brother or sister? Now brothers and sisters can be really annoying sometimes. And I bet that when your brother or your sister is annoying, you show them your Taniwha face. Show me your Taniwha face your angry face.’
20 seconds of Taniwha faces.
Part 5
Bringing everyone’s attention back to the front I say, ‘Now Taniwha are also loud, so when I count to 3, I want you to give me your Taniwha roar.’
At this point the students tend to get very excited and unsettled. I bring the student’s focus back by asking them if they would like me to demonstrate my Taniwha roar first. There has never been a ‘no’ to this question. In demonstrating the Taniwha roar, I get to model how it is to be done.
The roar is short. No words are said, it is simply a roar. There is no screaming. I tell the students that if they do it properly, they’ll get to do it again.
I point out that the students should make the most of the opportunity. I am an adult, standing in front of them, asking them to be as loud as they possibly can. That normally doesn’t happen.
This is a great outlet for the students and they tend to make the most of it.
Part 6
After having the students roar 5 times, I then have them combine all three; stomping, glaring and roaring. ‘Right Taniwha stomp your feet. Show me your Taniwha face’. I then roar and get the students to do the same 3-4 times.
Part 7
Now that I’ve successful revved the students up, it is time to bring them back down. I do this with a Warrior Kids breathing exercise. ‘Now that we have brought our Taniwha out, it is time to tame the Taniwha.’
This breathing exercise will feature on the Warrior Kids site in the near future.
Students running through the Taming Taniwha exercise at Omanaia School 2008
When the room is calm, I ask the students to sit back down. At this point, we go on to discuss anger and how we can look after ourselves when feeling angry. The format for such a discussion features in the up and coming book, Warrior Kids, Warrior Training for Children.
This month has started off with an increase in the number of classes. I am now running eight Warrior Kids classes a week so students and families have a lot more choice and still at a low cost. The new class times are:
There are two options when it comes to Membership Fees and those interested can contact me at admin@warriorkids.org.
At the end of 2003 I produced an activity booklet for the Warrior Kids students. The booklet marked the up and coming ten year anniversary (2004) of Warrior Kids and focussed on various topics explored in the programme. The booklet was handed out through the In-School Programmes and proved to be very popular with students, families and schools. In recent times people have enquired about copies.
The activity booklet is no longer produced but I have decided to feature its pages on the Warrior Kids site so that people can print them off and use them. However please note that there is a copyright on all material on this site and that the material cannot be reproduced in any other form. Honesty and integrity are the marks of a true master.
Warrior Kids is for all children and has always been about celebrating good behaviour and addressing non-constructive behaviour. Students from the late 90s and early 00s will remember The 4 Steps to Safe Emotions. The 4 steps came as a result of challenges from early students in Warrior Kids. Students were well aware of the Anger Rules as prescribed by the book Volcano in My Tummy and as taught in schools, yet they were tired of being told what not to do when they felt angry. They wanted to know what to do when feeling angry.
I accepted this challenge and after working with the students derived the 4 steps. While I’m not known for my art, I’ve always enjoyed this creative outlet and so put together a handout to encourage the students to practise constructive ways of being with their emotions. I wanted something simple and readily available that I could give out.
As anger is recognised as a secondary emotion, I decided that initial emotions, sadness and fear, should also feature. We can all struggle with emotions. However, people who have a greater understanding of their emotions are more centred and in control. Their emotions serve them, rather than hinder or hold them back.
Click the poster to make bigger to print
Step 1: Breathe in and out, slowly.
When people are emotional their breathing alters. The breathing can become shallow and fast or the breath is even halted. This limits the flow of oxygen to the brain, narrows focus and limits one’s ability to respond.
Breathing techniques have always been a part of Warrior Kids and the more that they are practised, the greater the chance of them being utilised in challenging situations. Students are taught to take long deep breaths, filling the lungs.
A shortness of breath stimulates and heightens emotions. Consciously breathing deeply and slowly centres the individual, allowing the emotion to soften and transform. This brings a wider perspective and flexibility in responding. As shown above, the hand can be held on the navel so that the stomach can be felt rising. When becoming stressed, students are taught to breathe and to be in control of themselves. Breathing techniques should be taught and practised in every classroom.
Step 2: Keep yourself safe without hurting anyone, or anything.
In Warrior Kids, keeping safe means avoiding harm and trouble, and Step 2 is about establishing and maintaining boundaries around the individual and their behaviour in order to do so. Students are clearly told to keep safe. Step 2 also makes it clear that hurting others or damaging things is not okay, without the use of words such as ‘not’ or ‘don’t’.
Step 3: Remind yourself that you’re okay.
When faced with challenges, it is easy to forget who we are, what we have successfully faced in the past, what we have achieved, as well as forgetting that there are people who love and believe in us. This is no different for the students. Step 1 helps students’ to see the bigger picture and Step 2 gives them safe boundaries. Students are then in a position to remember who they are, where they come from and those that are behind them. They are confident and have nothing to prove. This is empowering and can give the student the strength to walk away and make constructive choices. This is the development of fortitude and resilience, and stops children from being reactive and becoming targets of bullying.
Step 4: Talk about it.
At the end of every school day my five year old son must tell me a high point and low point from his day. These points must be original and cannot be the same points that he said the day before. I usually prep him when I pick him up from school and give him time to think of a response. I too share high and low points with him. This is a way of maintaining a level of clear communication between myself and my child, and gives him the opportunity to talk about his day and to be heard. We all like to be heard. When you are heard you and your experiences are validated.
Some of the Warrior Kids families share their high and low points at the dinner table. It’s a great way to get people talking, as long as everyone has their turn.
An old saying states, a problem shared is a problem halved. In talking, students are able to clarify and make sense of the world around them and of their experiences. They are then in a position to ascertain responsibility and consider differing perspectives, and to find constructive solutions to problems. Being allowed to talk freely and be heard, allows a student to discover and explore their own answers to problems, whilst at the same time giving the opportunity for the listener to offer support and guidance. The problem is that not many adults take the time to listen to children.
By encouraging students to talk I am showing them that it is good to ask for help and that they are not alone.
I hope you find The 4 Steps to Safe Emotions useful.
On the bottom of the handout, students will identify parts of a rolling exercise from Warrior Kids.
Regards
Tim
May 2011 Perseverance
Greetings,
It’s great to see the Warrior Kids classes filling up and even greater to hear the tremendous feedback from those benefiting. Emphasis is now going on the new adolescent class, Master Arts, and there are plenty of spaces available for new students. Adults are also able to attend Master Arts and train.
Currently I am sorting through photos for the Warrior Kids, Warrior Training for Children book. There is still much to be done before the book’s release in September and interest continues to grow nationally and internationally. In recent communication with an interested group in Beijing, China, they described Warrior Kids as a refreshing new approach to Martial Arts, something they haven’t seen before. This echoes the feedback from a group in Japan in 2009 that also saw Warrior Kids as innovative and exciting. I am honoured to receive such feedback, especially from two countries that are regarded as the homes of martial arts.
Of course, to get to this point with Warrior Kids an enormous amount of perseverance has been required. Put simply, perseverance is keeping on working to achieve your goal.
Perseverance has been discussed recently in the classes. Students can find the length of time between grades challenging. Especially when they are surrounded with so much instant gratification as found in today’s world, through television, computer games, the internet and shows such as American Idol. However, anything worthwhile takes effort, work and long term commitment, and it is this that defines character.
The greater the challenge, the greater the gain
When students first pick up a Sword or a pair of Nunchukas, they expect to be good with them straight away. To get good at anything takes dedication and practise. Practise makes perfect. The grades in Warrior Kids are a reflection of this. Students are encouraged to stick it out and not to give up. It took me seven years to get my first black belt.
There are often times when a student feels that they are ready for a grade, especially when they see other students getting theirs. Yet it would be wrong of me to hand out grades to keep students happy. This would be setting them up to fail. They would be expecting achievements to be handed out to them, rather than having to work for them. True success requires diligence.
Students have wanted to give up at this point and move onto something else, seeking more immediate affirmation. And it’s not just children that chuck it in. I’ve seen adult students succumb as well.
It’s different if the pursuit is no longer fulfilling one’s expectations or the goal changes. Then I would expect a student to leave. Nor should one be investing a great deal into anything that has little or no return for them. But of course we would be best to be honest with ourselves about our reasons for leaving.
There have been numerous times when I have wanted to give up and walk away. People have thought that I was crazy for staying as long as I have. Yet I have persevered, and perseverance brings its own rewards.
Change requires perseverance. Like all families, those who attend Warrior Kids deal with daily reality, which can include anything from domestic violence, abuse, trauma, loss, separation, change, learning difficulties, behavioural issues, bullying, anger and special needs, to parenting challenges and addiction. It takes perseverance and will-power to face much of what life throws at us, and more so to adopt change.
I want each of my students to succeed. No matter how hard it gets, I want them to persevere and achieve their goals, to dream big and not give up. Because that is what a warrior would do.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going
Regards
Tim
April 2011 Presentation on Warrior Kids, Warrior Training for Children to Librarians and Teachers at the National Library
I spoke on Thursday night, the 31st of March, at Sneak Previews, the opening session of the Spinning Tales National Children's Writers' and Illustrators' Hui organised in Auckland by Storylines and KiwiWrite4Kids. I previewed the manual Warrior Kids: Warrior Training for Children, which will be published by Libro International later this year.
But today I’m here to speak about a different type of book.
I started Warrior Kids in 1994.
Warrior Kids is a programme for children 5 to 13 years of age.
I have run it as an in-school programme and as community classes for 17 years.
The aim of Warrior Kids is to equip children with the tools and skills to face whatever comes their way, now and in the future.
Warrior Kids covers self defence, body work, emotional awareness, anger management, self control, social skills, confidence, conflict resolution and most importantly, fun.
My book Warrior Kids, a children’s novel, was published in 2006.
Warrior Kids, Warrior Training for Children, due out in September, is the manual that covers the 10 week in-School programme.
I wrote this manual in response to the overwhelming demand for Warrior Kids, both here and overseas.
It answers a pressing need to address issues among children and will be useful for anyone who works with children, whether to run a formal programme or to give ideas that work in a classroom, community group or other setting.
Warrior Kids is for all children Warrior Kids changes the lives of children Warrior Kids changes families Warrior Kids changes community
Kia Ora
Photos by Paul McSweeny
March 2011 Warrior Kids & Master Arts - martial arts in the truest sense
Warrior Kids back in action
Greetings,
Well, my classes for 2011 are underway and the new class times are working out well. A warm welcome to all of the new students and it is great to have existing students back for another year of training.
There has been an addition made to the Monday night schedule with another Warrior Kids class added. Class times are:
New students can start anytime and do not have to wait until the beginning of next term.
I was recently told that Warrior Kids and Master Arts are martial arts in the truest sense. I appreciated the compliment. I have been told it before by a number of high ranking masters here, in Japan and other countries.
As you will have read from my previous journals, I have felt uncomfortable with the martial arts label. Sadly, martial artists are over-represented as perpetrators of physical assaults, sexual assaults, domestic violence, child abuse and drug related matters. Many instructors and high ranking students have been convicted for such crimes. When interviewing me about Warrior Kids, various media outlets have openly run thorough investigations on me and my work, because numerous martial arts clubs have gang affiliations and clubs are often used for recruitment.
The majority of martial art clubs only seem to be interested in either sports fighting or combat fighting. However, in many traditional schools it was common that a prospective student would be asked why he wanted to learn martial arts. If he answered that he wanted to know how to fight or that he wanted to protect himself, he would be turned away. The correct answer to give would be that he wanted to grow as a person and to cultivate a life of peace, learning how not to fight.
Martial arts were a means to confront the ego, find a way through violent tendencies, to master the self and attain self control.
This has always been my attraction to the arts and is a core aspect of Warrior Kids and my adult classes. Some adult students have found this path hard and chose to leave. But as the instructor and founder of my school it is better that I stay true to what I value and believe in, rather than accommodate to the desires and will of others. This is also why I have to be very careful which martial arts schools or style I associate with. This is why I went off and created my own thing in the first place.
To know a school and its values, one need only look at its instructors and its high ranking students. What sort of people are they? How do they conduct themselves? Have any of them gotten into trouble? If so, how many? Is there a trend? Is the focus of the school on fighting or on growing as a person and having a rewarding life? Is peace and personal development just talked about or are they actually practised by those leading the way? What is the overall opinion of the school in the community? How open and transparent is the school to the community? Are there strong inconsistencies within the school or amongst the schools within the overall organisation?
I believe Martial Arts have a great deal to offer. I accept that ultimately martial arts are what I offer, in the truest sense, in some form or another.
I’m certainly concerned with the lack of accountability and social responsibility in what many martial arts schools teach, and I don’t like the egotistical aggression and competitiveness that many schools advocate.
While it can seem that honour and integrity have become a myth in the martial arts, existing only in movies and stories, I do know that there are good instructors and schools out there. Such people would make great Warrior Kids instructors, with the appropriate training.
Regards
Tim
Photos by Paul McSweeny
February 2011 A change to Warrior Kids classes and requests for an adult class are met with Master Arts - mastering life through martial arts.
Kia ora,
Getting back into it and the term will kick off with new classes and a drop in fees. Starting from the 14th of February my Warrior Kids classes will run four nights a week at the following times.
The membership fees are just $20 per week, allowing students to attend up to four classes a week. Concessions are made for 3 or more family members.
The casual training fee is $10 per class.
Also on offer is Master Arts, a class for teenagers and adults, offering martial arts and weapons training. Master Arts will also run four nights a week.
Master Arts
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday
7.00pm – 8.00pm
The membership fees for Master Arts are the same as those listed above, $20 per week, with concessions for 3 or more family members.
While Master Arts is a martial arts class, Warrior Kids remains a life-skills class offering a holistic approach. When students reach the cut-off age for Warrior Kids (end of Year 8) they can then move into the Master Arts class.
Master Arts features a mix of martial arts including Constructive Response (which is also a part of Warrior Kids) as well as the personal development ethos that is evident in Warrior Kids. The overall aim of Master Arts is the mastering of life through martial arts.
I have studied martial arts for 27 years now. In 2009 (in Japan) I was graded to Godan, 5th Dan Black Belt, in Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu by Soke Masaaki Hatsumi and have been an approved Shidoshi-Kai, Instructor, of this art for a number of years.
In 2007 I received Godan, 5th Dan Black Belt, in Ai Shin Do Bujutsu from instructors in Australia and New Zealand, in recognition of my perseverance and contribution to the martial arts.
In 1992 I received Nidan, 2nd Dan Black Belt, in Go Shintai Kai Karate and was appointed Chief Instructor.
I have studied numerous arts over the years and have had many great instructors. I once even received an invitation to be a personal student of legendary master and world renowned swordsman, Toshishiro Obata in America. Regrettably I wasn’t able to take up the offer at the time.
By listing my martial arts credentials my intention is not to gloat, but rather to show that I do have something to offer for those who are interested in taking part in Master Arts.
Nor should my desire to provide training that differs from the styles I have studied in, be seen to devalue or to suggest in any way that I disrespect these arts. In fact, I have nothing but respect for these arts. My upbringing and experiences are ever present in my work. What I can teach is Master Arts, which is my interpretation of the arts from my own life perspective.
Honour, integrity, respect, dignity and peace are the guiding values of Master Arts.
The weapon training in the classes involve stick work (Handbo, Jo, Bo), sword work and Kobudo weaponary such as Nunchaku, Tonfa, Sai and Kama.
Master Arts offers fitness, self defence, confidence, self awareness and focus, so come along, have some fun and learn in a safe environment.
Hope to see you in a class soon.
naku noa
Tim
Photos courtesy of Paul McSweeny, thank you.
January 2011 Catching up with friends and family, Warrior Kids classes starting soon and the realities of child abuse.
Catching up with friends
Kia ora and a happy new year to all,
I hope you all found time to rest and recuperate, while having fun as well. It’s been great to catch up with friends and family.
The dates for my official Warrior Kids programmes for the first term of 2011 are as follows ...
Programme 1: Tuesdays 8 February - 12 April
Programme 2: Wednesdays 9 February - 13 April
Programme 3: Thursdays 10 February - 14 April
These programmes will be run at the Kura Toa Warrior Kids Centre, 22 Mihini Road, Henderson, Auckland.
Class times are 5.00 pm - 6.30 pm.
Booking is essential as class numbers are limited. For information email admin@warriorkids.org.
In the mean time, the Kura Toa Warrior Kids Centre will open on Tuesday the 11th of January with casual Warrior Kids classes running Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Students new and old are welcome to attend from this date.
The season has brought more sun, more down time and sadly more accounts of abuse against children. Every time I have picked up a newspaper over the last few weeks there has been a new report of a child having been hurt by his or her family. One of the big stories was of a 9 year old girl in West Auckland who suffered severe mistreatment at the hands of those closest to her.
As with all children abused, I felt an enormous amount of hurt for this child and anger towards her family. Services were quick to accuse the girl’s school of not speaking out. Yet it was quickly shown that the child’s teacher and school had approached Child, Youth and Family (CYF) a number of times with concern over the girl’s condition and safety.
Warrior Kids is a preventative programme and over the years I have been involved in cases where children were being abused. I have approached and dealt with CYF for some of these cases and more often than not, it did not end well for the children. Some of the cases were simply ignored; others involved the children being removed from their families only to be returned a short time later when it was clearly obvious that the environment was still unsafe. And with an overload of reports of abuse to address, there has always been an urgency to close cases quickly.
As part of the healing process, as well as learning to cope with the abuse, over the years CYF have enrolled children in the 10 week Warrior Kids programme. Very few ever completed it as they had no way of getting to the programme or CYF moved them to another care facility somewhere else in the country. In my opinion CYF’s processes tend to abuse the children further.
CYF have little transparency when working with community agencies and schools. They are a law unto themselves and the only time they are held accountable to the tax payer is when another child has been hurt enough to get the media’s attention. There is a saying within the community work sector which is ‘good Social Workers don’t stay at Child, Youth and Family’. I hope for the children’s sake that this is not the case.
One problem is that CYF and other agencies follow the law that aims to keep families together, the law that means abused children should be returned to their families.
It is common knowledge that I was abused as a child. To begin with I thought all families were like mine and that abuse wasn’t abuse. It was just childhood and I had to learn to put up with it. On discovering that this wasn’t the case, that many children weren’t being abused by those closest to them, I dreamed of being taken away and escaping my family. However in my day Social Welfare wasn’t in the habit of removing children. And one thing’s for sure, if I had been removed, I would never have wanted to go back.
One time up at Matheson Bay, North of Auckland, I was run over by a Catamaran while playing in the shallow water. People rushed to my aid and I was carried up onto the shore where I was quickly surrounded, while a couple of adults tried to ascertain if I was alright or if I had broken bones. Through the crowd I could see my family watching from where they sat further down the beach.
One of the women attending to me was very caring and kind. She spoke about taking me to hospital. I wanted to be majorly hurt so that I could go with her and stay with her. There was the hope that I had found a way out.
I saw my father reluctantly get to his feet and walk over. I remember the dread I felt as he approached. My family didn’t like a fuss. My dad walked through the crowd and without saying a word he picked me up by my hair. I recall the horror on the face of the woman who had been caring for me and on the faces of the other people standing around. My father carried me over his shoulder and dropped me on the ground near the rest of my family. My cousins were laughing at the attention I had been getting.
My mother looked at me, ‘you’re okay’ she snarled.
None of my family actually checked to see if I was indeed okay. Luckily it appears that I was.
What concerns me for the nine year old girl is where she is now? Who is looking after her? There are limited options when it comes to available care for abused children and those children, more often than not, end up in places where they are further abused, either with extended family who are also caught up in the cycle of abuse, or into a home where they are exposed to abuse by the caregiver or the other children in care.
Weymouth Lock-up Unit is a secure facility which caters for young offenders. When I ran Warrior Kids there, some years back, there were adolescents present who weren’t offenders but who had been abused and were under care and protection. They were treated no differently than the young offenders.
Young victims locked up, apparently for their own safety, incarcerated for being abused! Is this still the case? I guess I was lucky to have not been put in care.
My family was even deemed appropriate for caring for such a child themselves by an obviously desperate Social Welfare. On learning about the financial remuneration of having a foster child my mother enrolled us up. Before long I had a foster brother and under my family’s care not only did he witness the abuse on me, but was also abused further himself.
Now some may make the mistake in thinking that the abuse in my family only came from the Maori side. Not so. In fact the Pakeha (NZ European) side of the family was worse. The Maori side were more open about the abuse and the need to change, and they offered me the most support.
My mother kicked me out of home at the age of 16 and I ended up living with family in Hamilton, which meant that my foster brother became the main focal point for my mother and father’s rage. One afternoon I was driven to Auckland to retrieve my foster brother. He had sought the protection of the local Marae and no one in the family other than myself was permitted to go on and get him.
I appreciated and respected the local families for their effort to intervene. Further, they wouldn’t let me take my brother until I had vowed to keep him safe from the abuse at home. As a teenager this was not something that I could promise. I was more afraid of my family than of offending the local people.
Solutions:
I oppose abuse of any type and have been involved in Domestic Violence cases on a number of occasions, whether it was in supporting the victim or running anger management and stopping violence programmes for perpetrators of domestic violence. And while I appreciate the government’s efforts to address family violence through their ‘It’s not okay’ campaign, I do believe that child abuse should have its own campaign, rather than being paired with domestic violence.
Abuse towards children isn’t limited to a single offender. It can often involve extended family and friends, male or female.
A campaign focussing on eliminating child abuse should advocate safe parenting practises, generate discussion and provide preventative education in schools. It should also allow adults who were abused as children to be heard. The government and CYF would be best to take such a positive approach and address child abuse head on.
Further, the government’s ‘It’s not okay campaign’ encourages people to speak up when they witness abuse. I agree with this sentiment. However, anyone trying that with my family would have probably gotten hurt. And as for reporting it, well as now known, that doesn’t always work either. And it’s too easy to tout that we’re all responsible. Such touting is in itself irresponsible. The community needs direction. A well orchestrated campaign would offer this.
I believe that Sue Bradford’s Anti Smacking law is a move in the right direction. I’m aware that people saw it as a breech of their rights, yet we need to see the bigger picture. Children are dying in our country at the hands of their families. This is unacceptable. We need to protect them.
I’m a single parent. People often comment to me on how well behaved and confident my children are, yet they have never been smacked in their lives.
CYF need to be more transparent with schools and other agencies in terms of their policies and procedures. They need to involve such groups in their decision making rather than being a law unto themselves. They also need to be more accountable to the community, to the tax payer. CYF are failing children, they are failing in their role of protectors. It is clear that they can not do it on their own. And by being more open and accountable it will be easier for those wrongly accused of child abuse to push their case.
The care-giving profession also needs to be professionalised through a tertiary qualification, thereby setting a standard and allowing further regulation of the industry, as well as better pay and working conditions for the workers.
And finally, families who abuse their children and fail to keep their children safe from abuse should lose their children. I’m all for giving people a second chance and allowing them to change - however, there should be a check on a number of risk factors and if those risk factors are still present over a certain period of time, then the children should never return to those parents. The children should be given a new chance. This would help to break the cycle.
Abusive parents should be held responsible for their mistreatment of their children, rather than constantly being let off the hook. What really saddens me is the knowledge that the majority of those serving time in our prisons were abused as children and went on to perpetuate the cycle of violence and abuse. Who failed them?
For 16 years Warrior Kids has featured in schools and communities throughout New Zealand receiving numerous referrals from community and government agencies. The History, Gallery and Feedback pages tell our story.
In this novel for young adults, Haki must confront his fears and find a way to answer the challenge to serve his people, to serve his land, to fight a Taniwha and, ultimately, to become a warrior. An imiginative expression of Tim's warrior philosophy.
Selling for NZ$25 + postage and packaging copies can be ordered directly from the publisher at peter@oratiamedia.com or fax +64 (0)9 814 8997.
Now Available!
This new book by Tim Tipene features the complete ten sessions of the Warrior Kids' in-school programme in a format that instructors can apply to their own work with young people.
It is a rich resource for teachers, parents and those working with children who face emotional and physical challenges in their daily lives.
Warrior Kids is Tim Tipene's pioneering programme that over the past 18 years has empowered thousands of children.
Focusing on bringing out the warrior within, the Warrior Kids programme draws on Maori warrior concepts and Eastern martial arts in a non-aggressive way designed to instill confidence, respect and self-control, leading children to become masters of their lives.
